That's intense
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
