Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
