Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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