I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
