So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
