She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
