OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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