Christians are straight up FREAKS
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
