I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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