He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize