when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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