Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Randomize
