But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
