I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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