Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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