absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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