You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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