i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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