she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
