omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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