I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
