How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
