why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
