I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
