Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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