I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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