took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
