I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize