you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
