I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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