Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm jealous of your bromance
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
