Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
