Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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