Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize