god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
