saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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