You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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