i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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