May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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