What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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