You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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