There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
send nudes
from the living room?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
