You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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