he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
