We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
