we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
