i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
