i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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