the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
