like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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