It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
