she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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