My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
