Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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