girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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