All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize