Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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