I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
only if we run a train.
done.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
