I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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