I wish I only lived at night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
