I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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