It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
