just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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