oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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