i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
