Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
