Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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