I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
