Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
