For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
