We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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