do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I skipped work to stalk him.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
