Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
